My life has changed so much since my last post over a month ago. It was not my intention to abandon my blog so soon but I just haven't felt like sharing anything until now.
Later that very day of my last post, my husband of over 19 years came home late from work and told me our marriage was over and he was in love with someone else. We have had issues in the past and just a year ago, I left him myself but came back after a couple months. I then totally recommitted myself to him and our marriage and knew without a doubt he was the one I wanted to be with and I was willing to do anything to make this marriage work. So I was completely in shock at his revelation. I knew we still had some underlying issues but it never occurred to me that he would ever do such a thing and that there wasn't anything we could work through. Just the day before he claimed to love me with all his heart and I would never be without him. Needless to say, this didn't do much to minimize the shock and devastation I felt.
Anyway, I have not done one bit of artwork since then, nor have I participated much in any of my groups I belong to. That is going to change real soon. I NEED to be creative again. I NEED the support of other people to get through this. My kids have been a wonderful support to me and I am so thankful for that. But I also need to get back to some kind of normal for me. I need to feel like my life will go on... and I know it will. It's just still really hard some days.
There is still a LOT yet to be worked out since I have been a stay-at-home mom to our children and my stepchildren for all these years and I am also without a college education and haven't worked for many years. It will be a long process I'm afraid but I will get through it. I wish I had different news to report but this is my life... like it or not! I am choosing to just deal with the cards I have been dealt to the best of my ability and I'm finally feeling like I can.
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